Proactive language

Using the space between stimulus and response

Stimulus =====Freedom to choose =======Response

The four human endowments:-
Self Awareness, Imagination, Conscience and Independent Will

1. Think of a situation where you consistently respond in a negative way
(E.g. losing your patience, avoiding confrontation, lacking self- discipline)

2. What is a better and more effective way to respond?

3. What would be the positive consequences of responding in this new way?
(Who would be affected? What would be the impact? )

4. What is your commitment level to respond in this way the next time you are in this situation? 1 Low to 10 High

Proactive VS Reactive Responses

You have heard rumors that your company will be restructuring and there might be some lay offs. You feel threatened by these rumors and believe there is truth in them. You know upper management has been looking for ways to save money. Lately you felt the scrutiny they have started. Finger pointing and blame for recent failures has been magnified.

You believe that you have made substantial contributions during the term of your service but you are not certain upper management is aware of the value you have brought to the organization. In addition, you and your team have worked hard to develop good relationship with other departments. Nevertheless, even if upper management is aware of your contributions, your department might be downsized or even eliminated.

Reactive:

1. What are the moods, feelings, and circumstance associated with this situation?
2. What are some reactive responses to this situation? What would be the consequences of responding reactively?

Proactive: What are some proactive responses? What would be the consequence of responding proactively?

Use of proactive language

Proactive language Reactive

“Let’s look at our alternatives” “There’s nothing we can do”

“I can choose a different approach” “That’s just the way I am “

“I control my own feelings” “He makes me so mad”

“I will choose an appropriate response” “I have to do that”

“I can create an effective presentation” “They won’t allow that”

“I choose” “I can’t”

“I prefer, I will “ “I must, If Only “ :


“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle” - Albert Einstein